We’ve all been in restaurants when the waiter has dropped something. The clatter of metal usually attracts a moment of stunned silence and plenty of stares before the chatter resumes. I can now confirm that the moment of silence feels very long when you’re the one bent over fumbling to retrieve the cutlery in question. It’s even worse in an all-inclusive resort where the guests are tipsy on unlimited Rosé. I usually get shouts of “ooh la la!” or exclamations of “ce n’est pas grave!”’ to confirm that no one was hurt by my flying knife. I really am trying to be careful but it’s tricky to stack plates under pressure, and, as one lady pointed out, the handles of the knives are curved in a way that means they slip off the plates incredibly easily. After these few weeks working in the restaurant I will be more than happy to cross ‘waitress’ off my list of potential careers. However, when I eventually find a job that suits me, and a decent salary, I will remember to tip waiters very generously indeed.